The Invitation

One of the things I enjoyed most about my fraternity was how we delivered bids. A large group of us would arrive to the recruit's residence hall, and call for him to come outside.  Once he did, we would gather around him, and someone would give a short speech and then extend the bid.  If he said he needed to wait, or even if it was no, we would applaud with respect.  If he said yes, then we would erupt in a cheer louder than a South American soccer stadium.  For a couple of years, as president, I used to give the speech.  I would try to to say different things to add to the gravity and inspiration of the moment.  And I would always end with "what do you say?"  I think I did a decent job.  But as recruits are being given bids across the country in the next few weeks, I took a moment to think about what I would say now - 20 years wiser.  And I think it would sound something like this:


 
I'd like to give you an invitation.

This isn't an invitation to member of this fraternity.  Instead, this is an invitation to be a better person.

That's not to say you are a bad person now.  Far from it.  But you can be a better person.

Those of us standing here, participating in this moment, accepted that invitation and are living testaments to its power.  For each person here is a better person now than they were before they said yes.

This invitation includes us.  So take a hard look.  Look into our eyes.  These are the people who will help make you better.  We are in turn looking at someone who will do the same for each of us.


This is an invitation to find yourself.  To accept that there is so much more of you to find.  To understand that it's because of challenging situations partnered with supportive friends that any of us truly find ourselves. 

This is an invitation to love each day for what it is: a chance to influence the world around you.

This is an invitation to get up from the couch, to step forward while others stand still, to emerge instead of withdraw.  To take the hits, the blows, and the constant pressure of a visible existence and never stop smiling.

This is an invitation for sacrifice.  By saying yes, we will accept a piece of your time, your talents, your resources, and your intellect.  You can't hide those things.  This is an invitation to be generous with who you are - both your strong aspects and your weak ones.  The strong aspects we'll accept as your contributions to our mission.  The weak aspects we'll accept as your willingness to be vulnerable.

This is an invitation to embrace the hardest lessons life can throw your way.  How to keep integrity when the other choice is easier.  How to choose between justice and mercy.  How to care for someone by letting them go.  How to balance personal ambitions with the collective needs of others.  And then there will be even more lessons the next day.

 
This is an invitation to laugh.  This is an invitation to make memories early in the morning, late at night, and every hour in between.  This is an invitation to press the gas pedal a little harder.

This is an invitation to care more about the conversations around the dinner table than the trophies in the cabinet.  It's an invitation to be human, so that you can find your humanity.  It's an invitation to matter as much to these individuals as almost anyone else in their lives right now.

This is an invitation to a life informed by values that span the test of time and generations.  You will be asked to speak words that have undeniable power.  Words that will echo through decades hence and decades yet to come.  Words that we have spoken and will bond us with you forever.  Words that amplify your soul.

This is an invitation to live deeply.

And the fraternity membership is included.

What do you say?

 

Fraternity and Freedom

I’ve heard it said that when America was formed, it was held as a grand experiment in man’s ability to govern himself.  Models of self-government were mostly theoretical at the time, and so this country became the first to really test that idea.  Although there have been many stumbles along the way, I think the experiment has worked pretty well.

I’ll let the politicians and pundits debate whether or not we’re drifting closer to, or further away, from that ideal.

Nonetheless, if America can be judged as an experiment in self-government, then I believe that the American fraternity or sorority can be judged as the same - albeit on a smaller level.  Our earliest forms were established by men and women without the permission of the colleges they were attending.  Back then, students did not have to submit paperwork to a campus office in order to gain “recognition.”  If they felt something was important enough to establish, then they went forward without apologies.  Now, it’s fair to say that our earliest groups also didn’t want or expect anything from the colleges.  We weren’t looking to compliment the mission of those institutions back then.  We wanted to be left alone.  We wanted to govern ourselves.  That spirit remains, but is being challenged.

I wrote an essay once that argued that fraternities and sororities (and thus their members) have defiance in their DNA.  There is a natural and embedded distrust between the fraternity man and his/her national headquarters and/or campus Greek Life office.  That goes all the way back to our founding.  And it’s proper to be skeptical of the institutions to which we are connected.

I believe that one of the chief reasons for the longevity of the fraternity/sorority movement is the spirit of self-government.  Not only have our organizations been a place for young people to find enduring friendships, service opportunities, academic support, and great memories - they have also been a place for young people to find freedom.  

Freedom and self-governance go together.

The benefits of self-governance can be profound.  Our society needs more individuals who can act upon their convictions, who will question authority when necessary, and who can simply manage their own problems and concerns.  Our world needs the strength that comes from individuals who are unwilling to let others control their destiny.  Self-government creates personal responsibility and nobody I know thinks we have enough of that in our world today.  

And so, we arrive at yet another reason why the fraternity and sorority is an absolutely relevant organization today: we create generations of responsible citizens through the practice of self-governance.  Our society should be cheering our ability to inspire young people to contribute more than they take.

Yet, we are not embracing this.  Because, we are not embracing self-governance.

Is fraternity/sorority self-governance under attack?  Possibly.  Colleges and universities seem to be laying out more and more requirements on student organizations.  Think about the following trends and developments, which many of you will see as progress.  When viewed through a lens of self-governance, and all the benefits of that principle, maybe that assessment should be reconsidered:
  • Colleges/Universities choosing to move fraternity and sorority dwellings on-campus, in new facilities that can be managed by the institution.
  • More requirements on groups with housing needing to have live-in advisors.
  • Headquarters and universities requiring reports on minimum expectations/criteria to be recognized.
  • Academic requirements for members to affiliate or organizations to be recognized.
  • Service hour requirements from HQ or the university.
  • More and more mandates on when a person can join, when they can live in the house, etc.

In an era when the relationship between universities and fraternities is more seamless than ever, it can be justified that colleges and universities have the right to do all of the things mentioned above.  However, for the sake of student learning, efficacy, and empowerment, justifying that they should do these things is not as easy.

Just because fraternities and sororities have allowed entities such as their headquarters and campuses to exert more control over their destiny doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.  In my opinion, it certainly cannot be described as progress.


We were meant be organizations that allowed young people a chance to build something together. They were able to learn from experience, achievements, and mistakes. Now, we are trying to build the experience for them and asking them to just ride along. 

For professionals who work in this industry - we were all once collegiate members.  We likely learned tremendous life skills from the autonomy of that experience.  I invite you to wonder (as I have on many occasions) why then we spend so much of our time now thinking about ways to limit that autonomy? How many of us quickly jump to policy when trying to solve an issue?  How many of us have spent a Friday night driving around Greek row looking for rule-breaking behavior? 

Comparisons between a campus chess club and a college fraternity are often made in jest and as a way to show to unique significance of the fraternity/sorority experience.  If we’re not careful, the day when the chess club has more self-governance to speak of than we do, is not too far away.


 

Justifying Fraternity

I have chosen fraternity.

Part of living in a free society is the opportunity to make choices. Many other nations in our world take choices away from their citizens. In America, we add new choices every day. New things to do, new things to see, new things to read, new things to eat, new ways to live. I made a choice 10 years ago, which I have never regretted – the choice to be a fraternity man.

Because it is a choice, we should not disparage those who make a different choice. It’s their right. We should not judge them for the choice they made. However, we also should not sit idly by and allow them to judge us for our choice. It is perfectly acceptable to justify our choice – loudly and proudly if need be.

We each have our own justifications for why we chose to join. Perhaps, at this point, you don’t know why. That’s okay. I was that way myself, especially at the start. When I was a freshman, I wanted to take a long and fulfilling ride through my 4 years of undergraduate education. A fraternity seemed like the best vehicle for that ride – but I wasn’t sure why at the time.

By justifying the choices we make in life, our life becomes clearer. There are sound reasons why we make every choice – although some of those reasons may be hidden until we are ready to see them. As a new father, I sometimes try to remember my motivation for becoming a parent in the first place. It just seemed like a natural thing to do. Now that I have a child, I never want to go back to my life before him. Parenthood has provided me with an opportunity for legacy that can’t be found anywhere else. I wasn’t ready to understand that until I held him for the first time.

As I reflect on my fraternal experience, I have also discovered and rediscovered the reasons why I made this choice. My decision to join a fraternity becomes clearer and more convincing each day. Perhaps you can’t justify your reasons for joining a fraternity. I can.

Many people make a choice for safety. They want to live free from controversy, conflict, or debate. I chose fraternity, and welcomed these things into my life.

Some choose to avoid scrutiny and accountability. They want to go unnoticed. I chose fraternity – I want you to see me. I want my accomplishments to be felt.

Some people want their lives to be orderly, formulaic, and easily navigated. I opted for the emotional chaos that comes from a group of young men trying to pull together. I chose fraternity.

There are those who treat leadership as theoretical, relying on books by experts and seeking inspiration from heroes. I participated in a service project, set an agenda, approved a budget, intervened in a quarrel between brothers, led a meeting, and stood up to an older member who was slamming an empty keg into the fraternity house doors – all in the same day. I chose leadership that's real. I chose fraternity.

Some people like to think about moral dilemmas and discover their values through reflection. I chose fraternity – and tested my values day and night.

Many are forced to be in environments where mistakes cannot be made and learned from. I thank goodness for choosing fraternity – and getting myself into many mistakes.

Some want to always follow the rules and abide by authority. I chose fraternity, and learned that some of the most beautiful achievements come through defiance.

Many believe that “men’s only” organizations are antiquated and offer nothing to our society. I unlocked brotherhood, and all the unexplainable tears, cheers, hugs, and laughter it provides. I chose fraternity.

Live and let live. I will not judge someone for their choices in life – it’s the reasons behind them that can be investigated. Stand up for your choices. Discover the hidden reasons behind them.

I hope that you make choices in life that make you stronger and help give your life more meaning that it might otherwise have had. Whether by chance, luck, or destiny, I did.

I chose fraternity.

I Refuse to Go Alumni Status

A simple idea occurred to me while attending a fraternity’s international convention. Like most conventions, the attendees were largely undergraduate students, but there were a fair number of alumni as well. This fraternity referred to its undergraduates as their “members” and alumni as “alumni members.” I think this is fairly common in both fraternities and sororities.

Thus, having been out of college for about a dozen years, I was referred to as an “alumni member.”

As a national or international organization, what if you reversed that? What if you started calling your alumni your “members” and your undergraduates something like “collegiate members?” How might that simple word switch change the culture of your organization?

Many sororities already refer to their undergraduate members as “collegiates,” but use “alumnae members” as a term also.

In my experience, when the designation of “alumni member” is conferred upon an individual, either informally or formally, it creates a change in mindset. It creates a sense that the primary work is over, and that one’s involvement in the fraternity is diminishing. That may not be the intent, but it seems to almost always be the result.

How many times have you heard an undergraduate say that they are going “alumni status?” This is code language for “I’m done.” While the experiences of a college student and a graduate are markedly different, somehow the illusion has been created that being an alumnus or alumna means that you are less of a member.


We are lifelong associations, right? Well, if a person lives to be 85 years old, they will have been known as “member” of their organization – in the standard sense – for only 6% of their adult life. Is it any wonder that we have problems with alumni engagement?

It should be noted that most NPHC organizations see tremendous involvement from alumni, especially those who join after the college years. They face less of a problem.

Changing language isn’t enough. It never is. However, for most groups, it can start us towards a new era of greater engagement by our members. It can also give greater meaning – not less – to that critical transition from graduating Senior to real-world adult.

Wouldn’t it be great if alumni stopped saying that they used to be members of their Greek-letter organization? Perhaps, if we give them the right to call themselves members, they will.

I am 43 years old, and have been out of college for 22 years. I don’t believe that I am less of a member of my fraternity now. In fact, in almost every way, I hope that I am a better one.

From now until my last breath, I will proudly be a member of my fraternity.


And the journey continues.




Reality Fraternity


I am a fan of reality TV for two primary reasons: (1) as an observer of human nature it’s fun to watch some of these shows as a social experiment, and (2) escapist trashy TV can be fun.

My wife likes The Bachelor, and every once in a while I’ll catch some of it out of the corner of my eye as I’m passing through the ro...ahh...I admit I love it too. It’s good TV. Lots of drama, heroes, villains, and suspense. Don’t judge.

The interesting thing about The Bachelor is that the relationships formed on the show rarely work out. Most crash and burn. But, it’s very obvious as to why. When the "bachelor" and his female suitors go on dates on the show, it’s the stuff of romantic fantasies. Helicopter rides. Dining on rooftops. Walks on the world’s best beaches. Floating on yachts under tropical sun. Everything is hyper-romantic and simply perfect. And then, the season ends with a hilltop proposal and dancing until the sun comes up.

A few months later, the perfect couple shows up again to reveal their status, and you can tell from their faces that it has gone South. A big dramatic breakup typically comes shortly thereafter.

The show creates impossible expectations for a romantic relationship. Anyone who has been in a marriage or long-term partnership knows that it’s tough work sometimes. There are no helicopter rides or moonlit dinners. Those are replaced by the stuff of regular life. It doesn’t mean that romance isn’t there - you just have to dig through reality to find it.

Perhaps there are lessons for fraternities here, especially in regards to how we promote and present ourselves to potential members. Do we oversell the fraternity experience and our own organizations?

I remember recruitment when I was an undergrad. Every fraternity I met with claimed the best parties, and the strongest brotherhood. Each one had the best house, greatest alums, and the tastiest food. Strangely, each group had also won the previous year’s Greek Week (must have been a 15-chapter tie). There was no shortage of trophies and awards to display.

And what about the chapters that rely on big splashy events for recruitment? They take recruits to amusement parks, sporting events, or turn their chapter houses into a Hooters franchise. Just like The Bachelor paints love as wine and roses every day, these fraternities are painting a picture that fraternity life is a constant party.
 

We have an apathy problem in fraternities and sororities. We also have a lot of dropouts. I wonder if some of that can be attributed to the mismatch of expectations and reality. If we create a lofty vision of the fraternity experience, but don’t deliver, why should we be surprised that people break up with us? And what's more, we're likely not attracting the right members by selling the superficial aspects. We get the party-lovers and then expect them to roll up their sleeves and work.

It’s about being authentic. Represent yourself honestly, and you may be surprised by what you get in return. Perhaps if The Bachelor had a few episodes when the couples had to live for a few hours in a house with a screaming baby, or got lost on a stressful drive together, they might be better prepared. Perhaps if you weren’t shy about your faults as a fraternity, your new members would more likely embrace the experience. Maybe your recruitment pitch should sound something more like this:

I want you to be a member of this fraternity. But before you decide, there are some things you need to know. We have a strong brotherhood, but not because we’re always laughing and having fun. We fight sometimes. We argue. We disagree with each other a lot. We are a strong brotherhood because we work through those things.

You won’t like every guy in here. Some you may actually dislike a lot. But I can say with great confidence that there are a few future groomsmen and best friends in here as well.

We win Greek Week sometimes. We lose more often. Same with intramurals and homecoming competitions. We don’t have as many trophies as the other guys, but I think we play a little harder.

You’ll need to work. This house doesn’t clean itself. There aren’t elves who show up in the middle of the night and cut the grass. We do those things. There will be dozens of times in which the state of this house will piss you off. There are other times when you’ll be too lazy to do your duties, and that will piss us off.

Many of these guys will let you down. They’ll make stupid decisions and leave you hanging. Many of us will disappoint you from time to time. You may want to quit. Or punch someone.

But, if you find the lessons in each of those moments, you’ll be better. If you learn understanding, then you’re on your way to mastering the greatest of leadership skills. If you can learn to hold people accountable without being a jerk, then people will want to work for you some day.

There may be a fraternity up the street that has only perfect parties, perfect meetings, and perfect sorority relations. But perfect isn’t a very good teacher. And, it’s an illusion anyway.

If you’re willing to be vulnerable, to make mistakes, and to work hard, then you are well-suited to be in this fraternity. Being a fraternity man isn’t easy, but nothing worthwhile in life ever is. Just because we may not be the ideal fraternity doesn’t mean that signing this bid card won’t be the best decision of your life.

And besides, if we were perfect, then we wouldn’t need you to make us better.

Highs and lows. Joy and conflict. Success and disappointment. Terribly frustrating and tremendously fulfilling.

That’s the reality.

We Are Choking the Entrepreneurial Spirit Out of Fraternity

When Ernesto Sirolli was a young man living in his native Italy, he wanted to help people and to make a difference. As part of delegation from a charitable organization, Ernesto traveled to Zambia on the continent of Africa. Their mission was to help the poor in Zambia in transformative and long-lasting ways. When Ernesto and team arrived to a village, they noticed an amazing amount of fertile land along the Zambezi River that was not being used for agriculture. Perplexed by this, and sensing a potential gamechanger, they told they Zambian people that they should use the land for farming, grow food that could sustain their people and could also be sold, and forever alter their destinies. They showed the villagers how to plant and raise tomatoes. Strangely, the Zambian people did not have much interest in these new lifesaving plans, but Ernesto and his fellow Italians would even pay them to help work the fields so that they could see the value in this agriculture. Sure enough, the fertile land bore tremendous results – large beautiful tomatoes.
Image result for hippos in river

One night, when the tomatoes were at their ripest and best state, 200 hippos emerged from the river and ate them all. The Italians were taken aback and shocked and told the villagers what had happened. The Zambians responded that yes, the hippos would do that, and that’s why they had no agriculture in their village.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” the Italians exclaimed. “You never asked,” was their reply.

Ernesto relays this tell in a much more eloquent fashion is his TED Talk and in his book, Ripples from Zambezi. The point he derives from this story, and that I wish to derive as well, is that too often we force our own solutions on people instead of listening for the solutions they wish to explore. Human history is fraught with noble-minded but tragic results of a central controlling force trying to impose structure on an indigenous people.

Ernesto’s larger point is that if you want to help people improve their situation, you need to foster entrepreneurship at the local level. That means showing up to listen, with no agenda and no preconceived ideas. You then support the entrepreneurs in their own ideas and their own vision.

I feel this is a message we need to hear in fraternity and sorority life in 2019.

Fraternity started as an entrepreneurial and grassroots solution to a problem on the campuses of the day: the lack of free expression. A society of men (or women) wasn’t necessarily revolutionary, but to build it secretly and cautiously on a heavily-controlled environment, such as a college in the 1800’s, was as risky and daring as starting a new business or enterprise.

Somewhere along the line, it flipped from being a grassroots movement to a top-down one, heavy with requirements, policies, structures, and the “one right way to do things.” I believe this is based on the fear of losing  something all of us love. But in that fear, we have sought to control. 

We structure it all. Rush/recruitment. New Member Education. Officer training. Meeting agendas. What we wear and how we wear it.

Some of this was for the sake of efficiency.  But what have we lost in that effort?

In fraternity today, we have a dearth of entrepreneurship.

Our heavily-resourced national offices (seemingly growing in bloat the way centralized governments do) are inventing programs and educational resources for their chapters on a daily basis, often relying on the intelligence of the people in the room but almost no input from the local level. And thus, we build and brand a fancy program called “How to Grow Tomatoes” and ship it off to our Zambias. And from there on out, we fight fires based on the fact our Zambians can’t grow tomatoes like we expect them to.

We talk a lot about campus culture in fraternity and sorority life. But we do so with an eye towards controlling it, and fitting it into a package we’ve already designed (from hundreds of miles away). Rarely do we talk about it in a celebratory fashion. For us it seems that unique cultures are something to be dealt with, not embraced. Grow these tomatoes, dammit.

When we need to do things like redesign a new member education program, we bring forward a commission to sit in a room and figure it out. We rarely listen to our chapters when developing new solutions, or stop to consider that the different cultures in which they operate could mean a need for multiple localized solutions.

Ernesto describes two ways Western cultures approach other societies: we either patronize them, or are paternalistic. To patronize means to treat them as servants; to be paternalistic is to treat them like they are your children. How often do we do that to our chapters, and in a world of increasing innovation, force them to do what that commission decided was best?

Campuses are quick to do this as well. Consider the growing movement to rate chapters based on a campus scorecard, with often arbitrary measures. That’s us telling an indigenous group that we know best how they should do fraternity and if they don’t fit within that structure, they deserve the fate of an outcast. Consider how arrogant (albeit well-intentioned) that sounds.

What if we tried something different. Take for example new member education programs. Instead of that commission or committee, what if instead we told our chapters that for one year, they could do anything they want for new member education. In the end, the goal is for the new members to be adequately prepared for membership, but the process is entirely up to them. Of course, hazing is illegal and can’t be utilized, but otherwise have at it!

Does that make your palms sweat? I admit, mine too.

But think about what creativity might emerge if 100+ chapters were empowered to customize new member education. At the end of that year, you invite the chapters to share what really worked and what didn’t. You listen, and then you share back the best ideas you heard.

Is it risky? Yes. But could yield a high reward. Think about all the other functions of fraternity life we dictate from the top, and what could happen if we unleashed entrepreneurship.

Is the role of the fraternity/sorority national office to create solutions to make fraternity chapters as strong as possible, or to empower chapters to discover their own strength? Patronize or Serve?

Image result for hippos in riverI guess it comes down to you answering a fundamental question for yourself: are you willing to let exist different ways to experience and do fraternity, or is there only one right way?

Respect the undergraduates for the entrepreneurial spirit they can possess. And listen to them, for they will tell you about the hippos in the river.

The Chapter President’s Guide to Starting the Year Off Right

The chaos of August is about to set in on college campuses across the land.  And you, Mr./Ms. Chapter President, are about to lead your troops for another few months.  Don’t make it a weak finish!  The following ideas can make the difference between your year being just another ordinary one or a truly impactful one.  It’s all about paying attention to the details and how you start a new semester. Here are some tips to help you start right:

1. Prepare a chapter retreat.

World-class athletes get themselves “into the zone” before they take the field.  That’s what a retreat can do for your chapter.  Retreats are not just all fun and games.  Good ones have a purpose, and I suggest the purpose be twofold: (1) assess the previous year and (2) set goals for the coming year.  Did you attend your organization’s convention or leadership conference this past summer?  Here is a good chance to summarize some of the best of what you learned.  See this post for more ideas to help you prepare a successful retreat. 

Power tip: Invite your advisors and campus staff to help facilitate this retreat.  They have the skillset to do this and would be honored to take part in something that’s so positive and forward-thinking. 


2. Get the team back together.

Huddle up with your officer team as soon as you can to review early plans for the year.  Likely there are some immediate needs in terms of finance and recruitment.  It’s also a way to make sure they are as invested in the remainder of this year as you are.   

Power tip: If you have the means, treat them to dinner (or coffee or ice cream) as part of this meeting.  Show them how much you value their commitment and leadership.


3. Visit with your Greek Advisor.

Schedule a time early on to reconnect with your Greek Advisor in person.  They remain your greatest supporter and advocate on campus.  Besides just catching up, use this meeting as a way to update him/her on how you assessed the previous year and the goals you have for the coming year (great way to pass along the retreat output if you had that first).  Be sure to thank the Greek advisor and ask him/her for any thoughts on how your chapter can perform strongly this year. Listen as much as you speak.


Power tip:  Bring along a small token of appreciation.  Maybe a food product from your hometown – nothing too elaborate or expensive.  It’s just a nice courtesy that your advisor will appreciate.  Also – be sure to compliment him/her on how tan and well-rested he/she looks!


4. Greet your brothers/sisters.

This one may be a challenge for the very large chapters, but it’s not impossible.  Can you stretch yourself to personally say hello and shake the hand of every single member within the first two weeks of returning to campus?  There is no greater show of leadership than personal interaction.  It trumps any speech you can give or any decision you make.  Perhaps tie this to an invitation to the first chapter meeting of the year, so that you can get some brothers/sisters reconnected who have drifted away.  It’s easy to dismiss an email or phone message.  It’s difficult to dismiss a personal greeting and invitation.  Plus, it shows that you care about the most important thing any chapter president should care about – the members. 

Power tip: If you have a chapter house, move in early so you can be there (and your other officers too) to help move in your brothers/sisters.  Plus you can say hello to the parents and make sure they know who you are.


5. Hug your house manager.

He/she may need it this time of year.

Power tip: Don't let it linger.


6. Meet your chapter advisor for coffee.

For many of the same reasons you want to connect with your Greek advisor, now’s a great time to build the relationship with your chapter advisor.  The reason I suggest coffee or some other way that feels less procedural is because it immediately makes it a more relational conversation.  It also shows maturity because that’s how many modern meetings are conducted between colleagues these days. 

Power tip: If you don’t already have a system in place, be sure to use this meeting as a way to establish a regular communication pattern with your advisor.  And then stay strict to that – another sign of leadership maturity (don’t let your advisor ever wonder if you’ve vanished).


7. Prepare extra hard for the first chapter meeting.

Many times, this first meeting of the semester is the one of the most well-attended.  Spend time preparing so that it comes off as professional, efficient, and effective.  Don’t shy away from a little humor and fun in this meeting as well.  If you want members to come back, they need to see value to the experience. 

Power tip: Start the meeting with an open forum for members to share the best thing that happened to them over the summer.  Don’t be too cautious with what’s shared and how – let the personality of the group take over.  You’re likely to find laughs and applause as a result.


Best wishes to a great start to the year, and thank you for accepting the role of chapter president.  If you spend the time to do those things above, and be rigorous in your preparation and planning, then you will find yourself more relaxed and able to enjoy this experience.  Ready, set, go!

 

Fraternity Board Member Application

Please answer the questions honestly with either "YES" or "NO."

Name: ________________________________

1. Was the name you wrote above your fraternity nickname?    YES /NO

2.  Is your working theory of dealing with college students centered on command and control?     YES / NO

3. Are you in this for the free dinners and travel to convention?     YES / NO   

4. Do you think you can do the Executive Director's job?    YES / NO
 

5. Do you want to do the Executive Director's job?    YES / NO

6. Do you have a pet project that will become your singular answer to every challenge the fraternity faces?    YES / NO
 

7. Do you have Roberts Rules of Order memorized and/or an autographed copy?    YES / NO

8. Are you excited to answer every big-picture strategic question with the words, "Well, in my chapter..."    YES / NO


9. Do you think every undergraduate should have the same exact fraternity experience you had?    YES / NO
 

10. Strategic plans are stupid, right?     YES / NO

11. Do you approach boardroom debates like King Leonidas fighting the Persians at Thermopylae?    YES / NO

 12. Do you feel it's best if the staff's reaction to you is based on fear?    YES / NO


13. Does your fraternity resume include “Hell Week Chair?”    YES / NO

14. Do you believe you are the only one who can save the fraternity and all of fraternity-kind?    YES / NO
 

15. Do you love to "play politics?"     YES / NO

16. Do you like to share your opinions via 3-page email rants, to which you have copied every person in the fraternity directory?    YES / NO

17. DO YOU WRITE YOUR EMAILS IN ALL CAPS?    YES / NO

18. Are you still thinking about your pet project?    YES / NO
 

19. Does the word "micromanage" make you smile and/or giggle?     YES / NO
 

20. Do you plan to buy undergraduates drinks in order to get their votes?    YES / NO

21. Is your home chapter untouchable?     YES / NO

 
22. Is any chapter untouchable?     YES / NO

23. Do you consider any of the following to be the devil incarnate: email, Instagram, Twitter, or text messages?    YES / NO

24. Do you plan to ignore the financial reports because numbers make you tired?    YES / NO

25. Do you believe that the hallway or the parking lot after the meeting is where the real business gets done?    YES / NO


26. Will nothing stand in your way of having The Rock or Taylor Swift be the keynote speaker at convention?     YES / NO


27. Would a colleague describe you as someone who likes to raise his/her voice in order to make a point?    YES / NO

28. Do you think it’s a fun challenge to walk into the board meeting completely unprepared and see how long you can fly by the seat of your pants?    YES / NO

29.  Can your motivations for completing this application best be summed up by the words "ego trip?"     YES / NO


Thank you.  Please be aware that if you answered YES to any of the questions above, we will promptly dispose of your application.  We have plenty of those board members already.  Have a great day.




A Knock on the Fraternity House Door


Hi, good evening.  

I don't know if I'm in the right place.  

I'm wondering if you might be looking for new members?  

Before we discuss it, I need to tell you some things about me...

My parents are divorced, and I feel forgotten.

My parents are both dead, and I’ve never really felt at home anywhere.

I’m lost.

I’m gay.  Or, I might be.  I don’t know.

I don’t know who I am.

I am poor.

I am rich.

  I come from a different country, with customs you’d think are odd.

People always stare at this. 


But it doesn't slow me down.


I’ve supported my siblings since I was twelve.

I’m ready to lead, but I don’t know how.

I don’t like my body.

Sometimes I feel empty.

I’ve always been in the minority.

Most people ignore me.

I act tough to hide my insecurities.

I’m a recovering alcoholic.

I walk funny.

I’m paying for my own tuition.

I’ve never had to pay for anything.

I stopped using drugs last year.

I’m a Republican.

I’m a Democrat.

Nobody has ever told me that I matter.

I’m battling HIV.

My clothes are from a thrift store.

My mom never told me I was right.

My mom never told me I was wrong.

I’m blind.

I’ve seen things I don’t want to remember.

This thing is for my insulin.

I never show my true feelings.

I used to have hair.
 
I’m scared.

My religion is different than yours.

My teachers told me to be quiet.

My teachers told me to speak up.

I’ve always felt alone.

I’m a parent.

I’ve never experienced "family."

I don’t know what to believe.

I’m ready to build something important.

I’m always running.

I’m always considered different.

And I don’t know what to do next.

So, I guess I'm wondering...


May I come in?